My Sad Prediction Of The Week...
In the spirit of full disclosure, I must say that I am an avid fan (and occasional contributor) to TMZ.com. Love the site, love the factualness of its content and love the guerrilla-warfare style of it all. It takes no prisoners and makes no apologies.
BUT... that will not translate to syndicated television, never has and never will.
Case-in-point; Dr Laura. She has a very successful talk radio show that has blazed a cutting edge through radio for many years. But when TV syndicators tried to capture that style, atmosphere and "rebel" style on the TV screen, it bombed. There are some properties which can only survive in certain mediums.
Let me say that again for all of the people in the syndication business who still dont get it (following this wisdom will save your job someday soon) Not ALL concepts translate successfully to all mediums!!
Dr. Laura only works in talk radio and to a lesser extent, books. Same goes for Rush Limbaugh, Howard Stern and Man Cow. Websites have tried and failed as well. Classmates.com tried to transfer from the web medium to the TV screen- NOPE. EBay tried it, NOPE. Many other major web brands have talked about it, but after much research, opted to stay with what works.
TMZ- The I.E.D. Of TV
Ken Werner, president of Warner Bros. Domestic TV Distribution, is going to have a lot of upset people and millions in make-goods to hand out as this attempt to translate a website into a TV show is going to explode like an IED. I am not suggesting that there will never be a website that can make the successful transition from web to TV, but TMZ is NOT the one. There is already too much celeb tabloid TV in the marketplace, there are already brands that have earned the lions share of the market-share and viewers are not unhappy with the current offerings. That is a recipe for massive failure for TMZ TV.
Harvey Levin should have Asked Me First
Telepictures, ParaMedia, Harvey Levin and Jim Paratore- you ALL should have said, "before we make this decision, lets ask Tara Hawkins what she would do- the answer would have been this;
Gentlemen, what happened to the foreplay? (Typical men- always trying to rush a good thing) Before you are so bold as to think TMZ web viewers will follow you offline to the old school world of broadcast TV, you should have first asked them, "will you even follow us in a TV format 5 days a week?" How do you ask that? By streaming a TMZ TV-styled show ONLINE. You already have them at your website in droves. Start the tv concept with a little foreplay! Let TMZ fans watch streaming show-length video for a few months and see how that goes over. IF (and I do mean IF) your site visitors love that format of TMZ, (more on why I predict they wont in a second) then and only then do you suggest to the TV world that you think TMZ can support a syndicated show! Not a second before! Foreplay boys, foreplay!
TMZ fans are accustom to getting TMZ in bite-size portions, ala carte, if you will. Having it served up in a four course style is NOT what sophisticated web surfers want, need or have time for. This was a huge error in judgement which likely had all of the wrong study groups, if it was studied at all. I suspect it was just a desperate attempt by Levin and Paratore to get something big on TV. (Or worse, just the continued milking of the TMZ brand, thereby diluting it to the point of "no longer cool".
The Death Of TMZ.com
The almost immediate failure of the TMZ TV show will also be the death of what was a very cool website- TMZ.com fans will turn their backs almost immediately when the show launches and will find a new, fresher website to get their celeb dish from, in the format they preferred- un polished, unedited and un-apologetic. The corporate white-wash which is being done to TMZ is brand suicide. (You should have asked me first!)
Syndication is NOT a bad idea
Syndication is getting such a bad rap in TV world, but it shouldn't! Syndication is NOT a high risk gamble, despite what it looks like on today's landscape. It has been made to appear that way because of idiot execs who are NOT making decisions based on what middle America wants- they are attempting to force-feed programs to middle America, thinking that viewers are dumb and, like sheep, will follow the herd. If you are in the syndication business and have any execs who think this way, stop reading this blog- call all of those execs into the room, read this blog to them out loud, then announce confidently, "You are all fired." (Do it now.)
Syndication is a proven system for rolling out good ideas to good people. Period. It starts with a good idea. Who defines what a good idea is? The Viewers you idiot! Not you- not Los Angeles based focus groups, not web stats from Internet traffic patterns (Duh, TMZ!) The Viewers!
The viewers never wanted Keith Ablow, Greg Behrendt, or Megan Mullally- but some arrogant exec tried to force feed it to the American public. What happened? It was spit right back in their faces! Execs of the syndie world- wise up! Its not that difficult to spot a successful syndie show idea and SO EASY to see the bad ones.
Not that anybody is asking, but I am aware of three home run shows (I have NOTHING to do with them on any level) for future syndication that nobody in syndication is even aware of because they are looking in all of the wrong places! (If anyone ever asks, I'll gladly point them in the right direction. But I don't hold my breathe waiting for wisdom to suddenly arrive here in Los Angeles.)
GOODBYE & CONGRATULATIONS
To TMZ.com, I bid a sad farewell. I loved your site and am sorry to see its demise on the horizon. To the up and coming celebrity gossip entrepreneurs I say, CONGRATULATIONS! Opportunity is knocking. Fans of TMZ.com will begin abandoning ship in the millions and their search for a new, fresh celeb dish site may lead them to you- roll out the crazy new ideas as your turn is next- don't screw it up!
Monday, February 26, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Celebrity Family History Show
HOT OFF THE PRESS!
This little sneak preview of a yet-to-be-announced celebrity reality show just came from a very solid inside source 15 minutes ago...
You've seen celebrities dance and you've seen celebrities cook. Now, see celebrities expose their... genealogy?!? Yes indeedy. Coming to a primetime slot near you, your favorite B-List celebs discover secrets from their deep, deep past and uncover a few surprises along the way.
I'm not brave enough to post the "channel" but I can tell you this seemingly boring concept actually sounds rather intriquing after further inspection. A semi-recognizable host is attached (he also created the show) and 37 wanna-be-featured celebs have signed on. I don't consider the topic of tracing one's ancestry to be of any interest at all, but I must say, (after getting a sneak peek at a demo reel) seeing whats behind these celebs is turning out to be quite juicey.
Speaking of juicey, something is coming down the pike for the Maury Show which the cast/crew may or not be aware of just yet. It aint pretty but it shouldn't come as a surprise. I think top staffers already know and the rest will either be told very soon or they will read about it.
May I be the very first person to code name the potential "situation" MauryGate! (Remember you read it here first!)
Tip Of Little Interest- This info was sent to me by an alleged staffer at NBC's The Today Show. It is not of any real interest, but since I have been skimpy on content today, I am tossing this in as a bonus piece. (Send in better tips you insiders out there!)
Al Roker is getting fat again. Thats not really news since it is evident when watching him on camera that he is a long ways passed his once trimmer figure of a year or two ago. He has pudged up slowly but steadily. Insiders say he doesn't say much about it (other than the occasional joke or two) but peeps very close to Al say he is really bothered by it, doesn't understand how its happening and can't stop it.
Dear Al, here is the scoop- there is one and only one way to regain your weight after weight loss surgery like yours- it is called GRAZING. The constant eating and snacking all day, of high carb foods and sugars. No, your tummy didn't stretch, thats a myth. You need to stop snacking so much and when you do it needs to be none of that crap that staffers see you popping into your blow hole all day long.
Oh yes and one more thing- f!$%&# exercise! No, you don't, hardly ever. Your wife has tried to subtly remind you, you laugh it off but you are NOT moving the way you are supposed to. Change now or be "Fat Al' again!! (See also, Carnie Wilson!)
Right now, Al is reading this and saying to himself, "Holy sh!%, this girl really DOES have a source in NBC!
(DUH!)
This little sneak preview of a yet-to-be-announced celebrity reality show just came from a very solid inside source 15 minutes ago...
You've seen celebrities dance and you've seen celebrities cook. Now, see celebrities expose their... genealogy?!? Yes indeedy. Coming to a primetime slot near you, your favorite B-List celebs discover secrets from their deep, deep past and uncover a few surprises along the way.
I'm not brave enough to post the "channel" but I can tell you this seemingly boring concept actually sounds rather intriquing after further inspection. A semi-recognizable host is attached (he also created the show) and 37 wanna-be-featured celebs have signed on. I don't consider the topic of tracing one's ancestry to be of any interest at all, but I must say, (after getting a sneak peek at a demo reel) seeing whats behind these celebs is turning out to be quite juicey.
Speaking of juicey, something is coming down the pike for the Maury Show which the cast/crew may or not be aware of just yet. It aint pretty but it shouldn't come as a surprise. I think top staffers already know and the rest will either be told very soon or they will read about it.
May I be the very first person to code name the potential "situation" MauryGate! (Remember you read it here first!)
Tip Of Little Interest- This info was sent to me by an alleged staffer at NBC's The Today Show. It is not of any real interest, but since I have been skimpy on content today, I am tossing this in as a bonus piece. (Send in better tips you insiders out there!)
Al Roker is getting fat again. Thats not really news since it is evident when watching him on camera that he is a long ways passed his once trimmer figure of a year or two ago. He has pudged up slowly but steadily. Insiders say he doesn't say much about it (other than the occasional joke or two) but peeps very close to Al say he is really bothered by it, doesn't understand how its happening and can't stop it.
Dear Al, here is the scoop- there is one and only one way to regain your weight after weight loss surgery like yours- it is called GRAZING. The constant eating and snacking all day, of high carb foods and sugars. No, your tummy didn't stretch, thats a myth. You need to stop snacking so much and when you do it needs to be none of that crap that staffers see you popping into your blow hole all day long.
Oh yes and one more thing- f!$%&# exercise! No, you don't, hardly ever. Your wife has tried to subtly remind you, you laugh it off but you are NOT moving the way you are supposed to. Change now or be "Fat Al' again!! (See also, Carnie Wilson!)
Right now, Al is reading this and saying to himself, "Holy sh!%, this girl really DOES have a source in NBC!
(DUH!)
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
The View- ABC Seeks Graceful Exit Strategy, Geddie Knows
For a brief moment when Rosie O'donnell signed on, there were a few minutes, maybe even hours, of hope for the much-loved ABC daytimer, The View. But within minutes of her first appearance (and every single day since) ABC execs knew it was only a matter of time before the wheels began to fall off. They just didn't think it would happen so fast.
ABC insiders are all abuzz about the think-tank who has been asked to find a graceful way to remove The View from the airwaves. The idea of a total revamp is being tossed around as well as the possibility of simply ending it here and now- they made it to the decade mark, which is further than Bill Geddie ever dreamed it would go.
Bill Geddie is considered to be one of the "nicest men in tv", or as some ABC staffers call him, "the anti-Gelman". He is the primary reason (along with friend and co-creator Barbara Walters) The View has stayed so long.
Geddie had his concerns about Rosie but was absolutely for the hiring of the somewhat edgey comedienne in hopes it would bring new life and fire to the tired show. But he got, as they say, more than he bargained for.
Some insiders at The View have heard it said that "I under estimated how many Americans have turned their backs on Rosie. They really don't like her anymore." How right he is.
It would be less polarizing to have The Dixie Chicks host The View than to have Rosie Odonnell step foot onto that stage. She has truly gone from being the potential savior of the show to the absolute and final death nail. Such a mis-calculation by ABC execs who are themselves out of touch with main-stream America.
Todays show provided even more evidence that The View has lost its way when Geddie allowed Odonnell and the much-too-old-and-bitter-for-tv, Joy Behar, to once again weave their deep hatred for Bush into virtually every topic at the top of the show. While middle american housewives and mothers of soldiers sit at home making tv viewing decisions, they are, in record numbers clicking right passed The View and its panel of angry liberals.
I must confess I too am somewhat left-leaning politically, but not even on my most frustrated days do I run from person to person spewing the volume of venom and anger Behar and Odonnell do day after day, show (yawn) after show. It's old, tired and frankly, awkward now.
So, here is the dirt on this once honored now sad little broadcast:
ABC wants it gone. (Unless someone can come up with a total overhaul strategy, which is unlikely at this point.)
Geddie is rumored to be burned out and ready for something new and is not fighting the idea of winding the show down. My prediction is he continues to develop great daytime programs and continues to discover new talent.
Barbara Walters, who is a very loyal friend to all she knows and in an effort to help those involved, save face, is not speaking about any of this but has suggested to others, "let them do what they need to do. We have had a good run." My prediction- Barbara continues to be the icon and legend she has been for so many years and will not suffer any side effects from this, the final season of The View. America grows to love Barabara more and more every year as she shows her "human" side.
Rosie is quietly but frantically seeking new projects but other than small gigs, is not finding another pay-day like The View. My prediction- she will become even more vocal and in-your-face about gay rights and will attach herself to as many coat-tails as possible, looking for the next updraft that could give her a new job. She will continue to surround herself with people who tell her that America still loves her (which, sadly, they don't anymore) and she will still think her opinion matters- which to some on the extreme fringe of society- she does.
Elisabeth will come out better than anyone, with a new gig teamed with a yet-to-be-selected male co-host on a Regis & Kelly type show that falls closer to her personal love of family and all things republican. My prediction- Bill Geddie will create it.
Joy will finally be put out to pasture left to do comedy appearances at senior centers, and will make personal appearances at any democratic fund-raiser where she can bash Bush relentlessly. (People will eventually stop laughing at her jokes and just laugh at her.) She will die angry and bitter. Her tombstone will read, "Did I mention how much I hate Bush?"
Last piece of Factual data- two syndicators are currently developing all-star panels of knock-off shows to take the place of The View, and one of them looks VERY promising!!
Okay, the very, very last comment here- If Bill Geddie and Barbara Walters called me and said, "Oh dearest TV Goddess who has been so spot-on in all of her TV predictions over the years and truly seems to have her finger on the pulse of what America wants to watch, what could we do to save The View at this late stage?" my response would be:
"Simple. Lose Rosie, tame Joy, (remind her its supposed to be fun and light-hearted, not a hate fest) empower Elisabeth to come forward with more family-friendly content that all mommies will dig and, drum-roll please........ bring in a MALE to be a permanent member of the team! this brings fresh perspective, a new dimension in the banter, and even more ways to show the various sides of the other women. Not a celebrity face, a fresh face. Not a 20 something who has nothing meaningful to contribute, a married with kids guy who is relatable and has been-there, done that. (But not an old fart like Joy!)
In case you are new to my ramblings, rants and predictions, let me cut and paste a section from a post I wrote back in 2002 about Starr Jones:
"Starr may be a bit of comedy relief now, but soon she will reveal her true self. My sources tell me she is impossible to work with, very demanding, more diva than anyone on the show, two-faced to all of the cast members, overly concerned about her own camera time in comparison with the other ladies and has been known to write her own fan mail to the website (idiot doesn't understand how those things can be tracked back). My prediction: Starr will eventually be fired for simply being the most hated member of The View and when she is gone, despite her best efforts, she will never find real work again. She is truly just a mistake in the history books of television."
How was that for an accurate prediction??? Now then, re-read that old prediction again but this time, insert the name of Rosie O'donnell. Now sit back and watch...
ABC insiders are all abuzz about the think-tank who has been asked to find a graceful way to remove The View from the airwaves. The idea of a total revamp is being tossed around as well as the possibility of simply ending it here and now- they made it to the decade mark, which is further than Bill Geddie ever dreamed it would go.
Bill Geddie is considered to be one of the "nicest men in tv", or as some ABC staffers call him, "the anti-Gelman". He is the primary reason (along with friend and co-creator Barbara Walters) The View has stayed so long.
Geddie had his concerns about Rosie but was absolutely for the hiring of the somewhat edgey comedienne in hopes it would bring new life and fire to the tired show. But he got, as they say, more than he bargained for.
Some insiders at The View have heard it said that "I under estimated how many Americans have turned their backs on Rosie. They really don't like her anymore." How right he is.
It would be less polarizing to have The Dixie Chicks host The View than to have Rosie Odonnell step foot onto that stage. She has truly gone from being the potential savior of the show to the absolute and final death nail. Such a mis-calculation by ABC execs who are themselves out of touch with main-stream America.
Todays show provided even more evidence that The View has lost its way when Geddie allowed Odonnell and the much-too-old-and-bitter-for-tv, Joy Behar, to once again weave their deep hatred for Bush into virtually every topic at the top of the show. While middle american housewives and mothers of soldiers sit at home making tv viewing decisions, they are, in record numbers clicking right passed The View and its panel of angry liberals.
I must confess I too am somewhat left-leaning politically, but not even on my most frustrated days do I run from person to person spewing the volume of venom and anger Behar and Odonnell do day after day, show (yawn) after show. It's old, tired and frankly, awkward now.
So, here is the dirt on this once honored now sad little broadcast:
ABC wants it gone. (Unless someone can come up with a total overhaul strategy, which is unlikely at this point.)
Geddie is rumored to be burned out and ready for something new and is not fighting the idea of winding the show down. My prediction is he continues to develop great daytime programs and continues to discover new talent.
Barbara Walters, who is a very loyal friend to all she knows and in an effort to help those involved, save face, is not speaking about any of this but has suggested to others, "let them do what they need to do. We have had a good run." My prediction- Barbara continues to be the icon and legend she has been for so many years and will not suffer any side effects from this, the final season of The View. America grows to love Barabara more and more every year as she shows her "human" side.
Rosie is quietly but frantically seeking new projects but other than small gigs, is not finding another pay-day like The View. My prediction- she will become even more vocal and in-your-face about gay rights and will attach herself to as many coat-tails as possible, looking for the next updraft that could give her a new job. She will continue to surround herself with people who tell her that America still loves her (which, sadly, they don't anymore) and she will still think her opinion matters- which to some on the extreme fringe of society- she does.
Elisabeth will come out better than anyone, with a new gig teamed with a yet-to-be-selected male co-host on a Regis & Kelly type show that falls closer to her personal love of family and all things republican. My prediction- Bill Geddie will create it.
Joy will finally be put out to pasture left to do comedy appearances at senior centers, and will make personal appearances at any democratic fund-raiser where she can bash Bush relentlessly. (People will eventually stop laughing at her jokes and just laugh at her.) She will die angry and bitter. Her tombstone will read, "Did I mention how much I hate Bush?"
Last piece of Factual data- two syndicators are currently developing all-star panels of knock-off shows to take the place of The View, and one of them looks VERY promising!!
Okay, the very, very last comment here- If Bill Geddie and Barbara Walters called me and said, "Oh dearest TV Goddess who has been so spot-on in all of her TV predictions over the years and truly seems to have her finger on the pulse of what America wants to watch, what could we do to save The View at this late stage?" my response would be:
"Simple. Lose Rosie, tame Joy, (remind her its supposed to be fun and light-hearted, not a hate fest) empower Elisabeth to come forward with more family-friendly content that all mommies will dig and, drum-roll please........ bring in a MALE to be a permanent member of the team! this brings fresh perspective, a new dimension in the banter, and even more ways to show the various sides of the other women. Not a celebrity face, a fresh face. Not a 20 something who has nothing meaningful to contribute, a married with kids guy who is relatable and has been-there, done that. (But not an old fart like Joy!)
In case you are new to my ramblings, rants and predictions, let me cut and paste a section from a post I wrote back in 2002 about Starr Jones:
"Starr may be a bit of comedy relief now, but soon she will reveal her true self. My sources tell me she is impossible to work with, very demanding, more diva than anyone on the show, two-faced to all of the cast members, overly concerned about her own camera time in comparison with the other ladies and has been known to write her own fan mail to the website (idiot doesn't understand how those things can be tracked back). My prediction: Starr will eventually be fired for simply being the most hated member of The View and when she is gone, despite her best efforts, she will never find real work again. She is truly just a mistake in the history books of television."
How was that for an accurate prediction??? Now then, re-read that old prediction again but this time, insert the name of Rosie O'donnell. Now sit back and watch...
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
The Biggest Loser- Caroline Rhea!!
From the "How did she ever get a job anyway?" files, comes this weeks insider revelation on the TRUTH about Caroline Rhea's sudden "career change".
Producers of TBL have been battling angry viewers since season ONE over the tremendous dislike of Caroline Rhea as a host. Not only has she proven that she cannot carry a show as a HOST, (Remember her lame attempt at saving the Rosie show?!?) she has also proven her humor as an actress must be scripted. She is incapable of thinking on her feet when caught in what could be very funny moments on TBL AND she often seems to not even be able to do simple math when discussing contestants weight gain and losses!
BUT... the real reason Caroline Rhea is being excused from The Biggest Loser is because, as it turns out, she is the biggest GAINER! Every season, the production offices have been flooded with emails from viewers who are repulsed by the hypocrisy of a weight loss show being hosted by a fat host. While producers tried constantly to urge her to drop weight (and to her defense, she did try) the problem grew bigger!
Dieticians were summoned, caterers were secretly threatened to keep certain foods out of her sight, yet nothing could stop the growing Caroline Rhea. Hair and makeup (the therapists of any show) will tell you she is not a happy woman. Like many of us girls, Caroline eats out of depression and frustration- which launches the vicous circle of weight gain and low self esteem.
Caroline, a personal note from me to you- you ARE a funny woman- when in the right environment (like a sitcom or film) and you should now draw back to your roots as an actress and comedian. Do not get talked back into a hosting gig of any kind. And do yourself a favor, drop some weight under your own terms and land a gig as a spokesperson for one of the weight loss companies- Trim Spa is hiring!
Good luck to you Caroline and hats off to the producers of The Biggest Loser- what took you so long to respond to your viewers?
Insider Snitch
Producers of TBL have been battling angry viewers since season ONE over the tremendous dislike of Caroline Rhea as a host. Not only has she proven that she cannot carry a show as a HOST, (Remember her lame attempt at saving the Rosie show?!?) she has also proven her humor as an actress must be scripted. She is incapable of thinking on her feet when caught in what could be very funny moments on TBL AND she often seems to not even be able to do simple math when discussing contestants weight gain and losses!
BUT... the real reason Caroline Rhea is being excused from The Biggest Loser is because, as it turns out, she is the biggest GAINER! Every season, the production offices have been flooded with emails from viewers who are repulsed by the hypocrisy of a weight loss show being hosted by a fat host. While producers tried constantly to urge her to drop weight (and to her defense, she did try) the problem grew bigger!
Dieticians were summoned, caterers were secretly threatened to keep certain foods out of her sight, yet nothing could stop the growing Caroline Rhea. Hair and makeup (the therapists of any show) will tell you she is not a happy woman. Like many of us girls, Caroline eats out of depression and frustration- which launches the vicous circle of weight gain and low self esteem.
Caroline, a personal note from me to you- you ARE a funny woman- when in the right environment (like a sitcom or film) and you should now draw back to your roots as an actress and comedian. Do not get talked back into a hosting gig of any kind. And do yourself a favor, drop some weight under your own terms and land a gig as a spokesperson for one of the weight loss companies- Trim Spa is hiring!
Good luck to you Caroline and hats off to the producers of The Biggest Loser- what took you so long to respond to your viewers?
Insider Snitch
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